The fast was a blessed experience. I remember just before I broke it I had kind of a sad goodbye experience with the Holy Spirit. I felt closer to God and didn’t want to leave his presence. He spoke to me(just now realizing it was him) and said I don’t have to. I tried to seek spiritual counsel but he says now , “I will be your spiritual counsel; call on me.” Then it felt like I was asking questions that I know the answer to. But now I recognize it as God’s voice. And the Connection was so good. I wanted to go longer. I could have. I just got nervous for my health because I got back pain near my kidneys.
I stumbled a little by telling too many people why I wasn’t eating. I should say that I am full. That’s a biblical rule about fasting. There are several reasons why you should keep it secret. You don’t want to boast in your goodness. Only and always boast in the lord (Romans). You feel bound by what people may think if they see you break the fast. And lastly people may discourage you or try to scare you. All of these things I have learned from. Next time will be better.
I ate a lot last night two pieces of chicken (one fried one baked) and a boil a bag of rice with stewed tomatoes over it, and two small pieces of broccoli, oh yea and a small cookie and some milk. But it was all home cooked. I started myself on fruit/vegetable juice and broccoli though to end the fast slowly and kick-start my appetite small. I ended a little after 7pm. I didn’t feel as rested this morning. I started the day with two big glasses of water before brushing, and waiting at least an hour before a meal. This really got me regular. Almost everything I ate came back out by 9am. And although I think I would think I’d be as ravenous as I was last night while eating, I’m not. I’m not hungry.
I can’t believe I was so nearly connected to the Lord. It felt great. It was like he had made me into a more peaceful person. This peace did surpass all understanding. I could really see a difference. The fear, impatience, anxiety, and anger I was feeling before the fast vanished. And boy did it try to return as soon as I started to eat and watch TV. I even thought in obscenities. I gave up TV for the most part during the fast as well, and limited the secular music. The hunger in my body for food was replaced by hunger for God’s word. Silent walks with him and alone time to experience his love. It was like all the loud voices in my head of doubt and defeat stopped. Questions became answers. I thought I was wise before, but this experience was so silent and calm it showed lots of clarity. I still had some contact with my friends. But overall I was much more prayerful. And I felt that God was listening, like I could just walk up and converse with Him. Although I feel the holy connection try to fade, I know it’s the devil trying to separate me with my flesh. But I know through seeking God I can maintain this connection. I love the Lord with all my heart.
These last three days I’ve been experiencing God’s word and how it relates to my life. First I was reading about fasting online, but then it kept quoting scripture, so I went and read for myself. I was first lead to 2nd Chronicles chapter 20 which showed that a Levite prophesied (wow just realized it was prophecy) to the king that he should prepare for battle, and that God would handle it. So they went into battle with the Levites making music and praising ahead of the army, and the enemy defeated themselves…”The battle was not theirs it was God’s”. That was so powerful. Then I looked into the Levites, because I consider myself one (being a musician and servant).
I found out lots about Levites, part of it was that they were to be taken care of by the church and share in what the priest gets from tithing, as they are supposed to serve the Lord and the church 24/7. Every 3 years they are to get an increase of their share. And they give 1% extra to the priest out of what they get from the church (Hmmm, I’m really thinking about that just now). I also learned that they were never given land of their own. Instead they moved around and stayed near the church. That made me feel better about not owning a house. And finally Levites are supposed to put all aside to bring unity in worship, even with other Levites. That’s what the name Levi means to be joined to someone.
Last night I read Jeremiah chapters 14 and 15. This showed the fate of the Israelites who had turned from God. But He said to me that I don’t have to endure this fate as they did because of Jesus. Hallelujah! That was my reading just before I broke the fast. This morning I started with a new testament scripture (couldn’t find it again) that confirms that the flesh is doomed to die a way, so I should be lead by the spirit, and Jesus should live in my spirit. This was a good scripture for me as kind of a capstone to the fast learning that I can deny my flesh and should be lead by the Holy Spirit, and heaven will be my reward because of the sacrifice of Christ Jesus. Thank God!
