My Fasting Experience

      The fast was a blessed experience.  I remember just before I broke it I had kind of a sad goodbye experience with the Holy Spirit. I felt closer to God and didn’t want to leave his presence.  He spoke to me(just now realizing it was him) and said I don’t have to.  I tried to seek spiritual counsel but he says now , “I will be your spiritual counsel; call on me.”  Then it felt like I was asking questions that I know the answer to.  But now I recognize it as God’s voice.  And the Connection was so good.  I wanted to go longer.  I could have.  I just got nervous for my health because I got back pain near my kidneys. 

    I stumbled a little by telling too many people why I wasn’t eating.  I should say that I am full.  That’s a biblical rule about fasting.  There are several reasons why you should keep it secret.  You don’t want to boast in your goodness.  Only and always boast in the lord (Romans).  You feel bound by what people may think if they see you break the fast.  And lastly people may discourage you or try to scare you.  All of these things I have learned from.  Next time will be better.

    I ate a lot last night two pieces of chicken (one fried one baked) and a boil a bag of rice with stewed tomatoes over it, and two small pieces of broccoli, oh yea and a small cookie and some milk.  But it was all home cooked.  I started myself on fruit/vegetable juice and broccoli though to end the fast slowly and kick-start my appetite small.  I ended a little after 7pm.  I didn’t feel as rested this morning.  I started the day with two big glasses of water before brushing, and waiting at least an hour before a meal.  This really got me regular.  Almost everything I ate came back out by 9am.  And although I think I would think I’d be as ravenous as I was last night while eating, I’m not.  I’m not hungry. 

    I can’t believe I was so nearly connected to the Lord.  It felt great.  It was like he had made me into a more peaceful person.  This peace did surpass all understanding.  I could really see a difference.  The fear, impatience, anxiety, and anger I was feeling before the fast vanished.  And boy did it try to return as soon as I started to eat and watch TV.  I even thought in obscenities.  I gave up TV for the most part during the fast as well, and limited the secular music.  The hunger in my body for food was replaced by hunger for God’s word.  Silent walks with him and alone time to experience his love.  It was like all the loud voices in my head of doubt and defeat stopped.  Questions became answers.  I thought I was wise before, but this experience was so silent and calm it showed lots of clarity.  I still had some contact with my friends.  But overall I was much more prayerful.  And I felt that God was listening, like I could just walk up and converse with Him.  Although I feel the holy connection try to fade, I know it’s the devil trying to separate me with my flesh.  But I know through seeking God I can maintain this connection.  I love the Lord with all my heart. 

    These last three days I’ve been experiencing God’s word and how it relates to my life.  First I was reading about fasting online, but then it kept quoting scripture, so I went and read for myself.  I was first lead to 2nd Chronicles chapter 20 which showed that a Levite prophesied (wow just realized it was prophecy) to the king that he should prepare for battle, and that God would handle it.  So they went into battle with the Levites making music and praising ahead of the army, and the enemy defeated themselves…”The battle was not theirs it was God’s”.  That was so powerful.  Then I looked into the Levites, because I consider myself one (being a musician and servant). 

    I found out lots about Levites, part of it was that they were to be taken care of by the church and share in what the priest gets from tithing, as they are supposed to serve the Lord and the church 24/7.  Every 3 years they are to get an increase of their share.  And they give 1% extra to the priest out of what they get from the church (Hmmm, I’m really thinking about that just now).  I also learned that they were never given land of their own.  Instead they moved around and stayed near the church.  That made me feel better about not owning a house.  And finally Levites are supposed to put all aside to bring unity in worship, even with other Levites.  That’s what the name Levi means to be joined to someone. 

    Last night I read Jeremiah chapters 14 and 15.  This showed the fate of the Israelites who had turned from God.  But He said to me that I don’t have to endure this fate as they did because of Jesus.  Hallelujah!  That was my reading just before I broke the fast.  This morning I started with a new testament scripture (couldn’t find it again) that confirms that the flesh is doomed to die a way, so I should be lead by the spirit, and Jesus should live in my spirit.  This was a good scripture for me as kind of a capstone to the fast learning that I can deny my flesh and should be lead by the Holy Spirit, and heaven will be my reward because of the sacrifice of Christ Jesus.  Thank God!

I’m Going to Improve

Sometimes I have really beautiful, fluent, esoteric thoughts.  But by the time I get them out on paper they sound lame and hackneyed, planed and trite, canned and contrived.  that’s probably why I can’t write an interesting blog.  Because its so consciously an introspective look that it becomes more of an expressive push.  The point is I’ve got to learn to think out loud whether anyone’s listening, reading, or not.  It will make me write a more similar language to that which I think and speak.  I realize I come off better in person and it time a came off better in general.  Through my words, deeds, and music.  But all in all I believe this is a decent start.

I’m Special

I’m to pretty for this shyt .

But naw seriously, my mind and my personality is to beautiful for this job.  God took so much time and invested so much of his image in me that I really don’t match much of this lifestyle. And a lot of people agree.

My thoughts on Love and Artists

After listening to a few musical greats; seeing a few pictures; and watching a few pieces performed the subjects of human encounters and love found, lost and foregone.  I realized that artists see beauty in so many people and enchant people to see the expressed beauty in them.  Essentially they are magnets and mirrors of love.  Does that give reason or even license to most artists, dancers, and musicians being bad with fidelity, and notoriously flirty yay even promiscuous by nature.  I mean what would the world be with out the passions of their experiences expressed through their labors of love.  Maybe we should applaud them for not truly making/giving love to everyone they found a reason to love.  For artists its a challenge to reasonably distribute their love when they experience so much of it in performance, creation, expression, and others’ appreciation of their works.  I mean who better to be a microcosm of life’s experiences than an artist.  And then re-portray them with great passion.  Well that’s my rumination.  One could argue that others experience the same stuff and have no excuse to unleash their love on society, and that doesn’t make their experience any less artistic or special to society.

OBAMA Is President Elect!

Now What? Ha? What? What Bitch? What! And one! Oooh! Boooyaaaaah! Boom Baby Boom! Whatcha Wan Do?

Whatcha Gonna Do Now Fool!

 

No seriously, what now?… I’ll follow this up with a full-scale plan on our next steps.

If you like it then you should’ve….WTF???

Ok.  I’ve been ‘checking up on’ Beyonce’s songs.  Now I guess I should preface this piece with two primises:

1. First and foremost my persnal relationship is a match made in heaven, so this doesn’t apply to me. 

2. I’m kind of a certified Beyonce-Hater.  I have a card and everything, but I often give props where musical truth prevails.

But anyway.  I’ve been listening to some of her new and not so new songs.  And they (not unlike MJB’s last album) are a quandry of contradictions that seem to personify what it is to be a lady.  At least they are in her opinion, and they must be pretty darn accurate for all women in the US to rush to the dance floor for any of her feel-good classics.  I didn’t really know what was in the meat of these albums, songs like “Resentment”, “Flaws and all”, “If I were a boy” and the new phenom. “If you like it then you should have put a ring on it”.  Now I understand these songs are vivid snapshots of emotional expression of a singular tima and place, but come on! Who in the heck would want, much less love such a difficult mess of inconsistancies.

I mean Beyonce represents a large group of women who would have no hope for finding a mate if some men didn’t find women in general irrisistably attractive and/or endearing.  I mean God had a good point for making the cutest of the sexes the seamingly emotionally and mentally unstable one.  I mean if dudes were as base as we are and as difficult as women are, repopulation would halt like a crackhead for a crackhouse.  I mean women would just go without (for the most part).  As women, when it comes to this “Ms. Independent” make it utterly clear that they don’t need men.  Not even for coitus.  And the funny thing is men never said women weren’t independent.  But it is the sole purpose of society to stress mens expendability.   So what would the world do if dudes just dipped? 

I’ll tell you what they’d do, women would fight, and argue in a logic free manner untill they were all a bald bleeding mess of angry, caddy, haters.  But naw seriously.

Why must good men love a woman flaws and all just because she’s hot as hell?

Why would any man put a ring (thousands of dollars, and a lifelong nag) on something he just “likes”?

If you were a boy you’d realize your feelings based on hypothetical suppositions don’t really make sense, and that they magnify your baseless insecurities.

And resentment? welcome to the world of  the man.  Only we cant complain about it if we ever want to get any food, clean clothes, or lovin’ ever again.  Because, guess what, when we put a ring on it, it put us at your whim for everything forever.

Not to say that being single is an opportunity to hedge your bets, but it is!!!

To be real a lot of women are reliable.  Especially for their children, their jobs, and sometimes with providing income.  But men are always relied apon for income, and protection, and sometimes come through on support.  But men are always reliable when it comes to love making (and all that comes with it.  You know we won’t say ’no’!)  Women are sometimes reliable when it comes to food, and house keeping, but RARELY when it comes to “pleasing the man” (This includes gametime silence, and love making).

And yes we do get jealous when women get attention from other men, but we know when she gets with him, she’ll nag him and expect unrealistic things from him as well.  That is–unless she learned something from our old relationship.  I’m just not down for

Where I’m going

Recently my uncle was reported to have cancer spread through his lungs after doctors thought they had gotten it all out.  I’ve been praying for him.  One morning I was late for work and heard a word concerning Gods simple requirements for my life.  I learned that if I live as a righteous man, repent and follow the Lords commands, I’ll be able to heal my family.  I have a lot of sickness and illness in my mother’s family that appears, re appears and flares constantly.  I have some spirits that rear their heads in discord and confusion in my family.  But all that occurs does not tear us asunder, because our family bonds are underscored by an agape love for one another and a belief and love for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 

 

My desire is to straighten up my walk so that I can heal my family.  That would include working as if unto God and not man.  It will include purifying and taking care of my body as a temple of God.  It will include repenting, and permenantly turning from my sinful habits.  It will include being honest about who I am and what I stand for, and what I want.  I must take the steps to get what God has for me.  That is what I want.  It would include living each moment to please God and not man.  And spending my energy seeking Godly things and building His Kingdom, and not superficial things of this earth.  I can do this.  I will do this.  And the strongholds and curses and spirits within my family will end here and not pass through the generations. 

Basic Political Concepts

Some DUDE said…

The Democrats’ domestic policies are an incoherent jumble: they want lower gasoline and heating oil prices, but they block the very things, oil drilling and the construction of new refineries, that would actually reduce them. At the same time, for reasons of “climate change,” they want less consumption of oil and gas, which implies higher, not lower, prices.

None of this makes any sense; the Democrats are just hoping that no one notices between now and November. Today, Nancy Pelosi gave a press conference, and for once she was asked an incisive question. Her rambling answer, which included an embarrassing effort to hide behind the “evangelical community,” revealed the emptiness of the Democrats’ domestic agenda. I reproduce it here in excruciating completeness:

Given that high prices help to encourage the kind of behavior that you would want, energy efficiency, efficiency driving, bike or bus, etc., how can you be pushing climate change legislation which would also raise prices and whose primary purpose is to help to modify behavior?PELOSI: Well, let’s hope that it doesn’t promote higher prices. In our climate change initiative we had a very important meeting last week on Earth Day with representatives, all aspects of the interfaith community who are supporting the climate change legislation. We don’t know what the particulars of it are, but we need to have climate change legislation. And that is from the evangelical community – kind of strong voices there from the evangelical community joining 27, I think it was, Protestant denominations and the Catholics, the Jewish, every faith. And part of it is to preserve the planet, God’s creation, and to do so in a way that does not hurt poor people, whether that is in the price of energy for mobility or for home heating or cooling or whatever it happens to be. And then the job creation, to have it be something that lifts people up into the middle class. So this is a value we have. And anytime…

Excuse me. I don’t know what is wrong. Let’s see if water works.

But on all of these issues relating to the price of oil, the equities that have to be weighed are: How do we grow our economy? How do we do it in the fairest possible way? How do we do it in a way that preserves the planet? How do we do it again with equity and all aspects of that?

And the deterrent that the higher price of gasoline might have on transportation cannot be so much of a deterrent that people cannot afford to go to work. When I travel throughout rural America , people will tell me, “I have to drive 100 miles each day for work because there are no jobs in my area, but the high cost of gasoline makes it unprofitable for me to travel to work.”

Last week, in Minneapolis – I think I mentioned this to some of you before – veterans were telling me that they have to drive long distances to get health care in Minnesota; and this is the case in many places as well, in Texas and other places. And they can barely afford to go get the health care that is their benefit.

So, again, it has to be calibrated in – it doesn’t mean that we are – that there should be an endless increase in the price of gasoline to change behavior so that we have fewer emissions. There are other ways to have fewer emissions than to price people out of the market of going to work or going to the hospital.

 

Absent rationing–do you think Pelosi is likely to mention the R-word between now and November?–lower prices mean more emissions. As usual, the Democrats are counting on ignorance.

 

…we get the leadership we deserve….KL

OK, THIS IS WHAT I SAY…

Well granted I understand this guy’s thinking, bu this type of defeatist reasoning is why politics has stalemated itself into a pocket lining favor returning frenzied FREEZE.  They could call this the ice age, because nothing has grown for the last 8 years.  I understand that for every positive effort toward lowering prices,  creating jobs, and saving the earth; there are ten reasons we should give up.  But these reasons balance themselves on the notion that we have a fully independent, fully operating capitalistic democracy based on raw supply and demand.  Which we don’t.  We should by now after 8 years of vigilante republican in the raw rule, right.  I mean this has got to be as leizze-faire as it gets (I’m being facetious here).  And it still isn’t working.  That’s why the government must aid in the force of change to implement efforts toward lower prices, more jobs, and a cleaner earth and later back off and try to let it work on its own…isn’t that’s why the founding fathers created their own government, because American people were too utterly ignorant and ill-informed to decide the details of their country’s matters democratically…..AND I’M DONE!!

And My Boy Said This…

What struck me about this article is not the commentators rant or obvious political spin (f’ that) but the politician’s comments and her inability to form a coherent thought on the subject, which is a characteristic shared across party lines. Due to government mandate we now use 30% of our corn crop to replace 3% of our fuel and that 3% is only 80% as effective at moving mass as the gasoline it replaces and cost more per gallon, creates more pollution and all the while driving up food cost. We haven’t built a refinery or a nuclear plant in 30 years and the FED is busy inflating the dollar. These are not free market leizze-faire drivers at work raising prices.These are policy driven actions demonstrating the profound lack of effective leadership from the likes of this numb-skull exacerbating our energy and food cost problem. The solution alluded to? Raise taxes add price controls. Great. I remember the Carter years, unfortunately, I voted for them. No thanks, I’ll pass this time.

So Then I’m All Like…

Well I hear a lot of talk about tax breaks, or reallocation of tax dollars, and increased taxes.  I’m quite aware the economy isn’t in leizze-faire mode.  I think its more like “look ma’ no hands” mode; but someone’s still driving fast and wrong.  I just believe the proper president could give guidance necessary with as little negative interference as possible to set things going in the right direction, and let the “tone-at-the-top” motivate actions all around.  by this time green initiatives could compete, and urban & rural communities could eat.  You’ve gotta make the green switch competitive, even the tax grade, give tax breaks for companies coming back into the us (as far as workers).  Have the us (especially farmers) produce by reducing subsidies not to produce, and giving incentives to produce (not necessarily tax based).  Offer a gov based, but not mandated health care net with full-free-basic-benefits, while maintaining competitive options for premium packages among existing companies which would lower the competing cost of health care.  Make college funding more affordable, and prices competitively lower.  Make green transportation/heating/cooling suppliers a competing force in the us by gov. aiding their start up.  This would force the current energy/fuel companies to compete by lowering prices, because lets face it heating & natural gas prices have silently crept through the roof like a bad fart.  Uncap (but don’t squander) our reserves to compete the world over, but also let our green companies compete globally on a larger scale.  End our involvement in Iraq, and all other unnecessary violent policing activities while concentrating on diplomatic relations building of green and economically sound trade.  Use US direct labor to supply all major US activities including the military.  And if the next elected official doesn’t do this, then the next elected official should do the exact opposite to blatantly show America that its current direction DOESN’T WORK!

Moreover and Furthermore…

I addition add a home-owner’s & family building socialization process to the dissemination of section 8 and lower income housing inhabitants accross homes in America, and out of urban ghettos/trailer parks.  Re-gentrify downtown areas, but take those on the cusp of poverty, and offer them specifically (based on zip code and income) jobs that service the re-gentrified movement.  This would reduce desperation, and decrease illegal activities.  Finally re-allow basic education in jail (no higher than AS degree unless their sentence is longer than 10years…adopted that from Brandy).  And make the jail system work to sustain itself, employ them making products to be used in other government institutions.

Howdy Y’all!

Let me get started.  This is a great opportunity not to freeze up, but to express my views freely.  I’d like to say “how are you,” as a formality.  This is just to be kind everyone knows its not to truly gage ones actual disposition or life’s situation.  It is merely the sort of thing done to get a participation check.  And for those of you that were really touched by the notion that I or anyone else actually considers your existence, all I can say is “keep living that optimistic fairytale, you call life.”